I recently had an email from someone who was interested in doing some emotional healing work with me over Skype, but who was unable to get time alone in the house to coincide with my availability. She was worried that if she sobbed, or shouted in anger, that her children and partner would hear.
It’s so important to feel safe during a session, so I thought I’d share my response here.
Matrix Reimprinting is a very gentle process, and one of the things that is unusual about it is that it is the Echo (your younger self, who we visit in the Matrix or in imagination) who is the real client.
During a session you will acting (with my guidance) more as a therapist or friend for healing your Echo.
So one of my jobs is to keep you ‘disassociated’ – ie calm – so you can be effective in your role. If you ever start to get really caught up in the emotion experienced by your Echo (ie get angry or start to cry), then we freeze the picture and I pull you out (so to speak) and get you to tap until you feel calm again. (I also have a few other techniques I use to help this process.)
So if there is a need to feel or experience strong emotions in a session, it is done by the Echo and, as the Echo is pure energy at this stage, we can usually help her (or him) to move through her feelings fairly rapidly, so she can get to a place where she can start to look at the event or issue differently and start identifying her own solutions and lessons and where she’d like to go with it.
I have had clients who cried whenever they tried to approach a particular memory. Usually we can find ways to help them to remain calm and still go into the memory fully. But it depends on the client and their situation. One client took several months before she could approach a specific deeply traumatic memory, so we used ways to work on it and defuse the intensity of it without actually going there, until she finally felt strong enough to work on it directly. Every situation is different, and the client is always the one in control of the pace and focus.
But while I have a box of tissues on the table when I work in person with clients, you’d be surprised how rarely they are used, even when we are doing very deep and effective work.
I’ve also had clients who had Echoes who really needed to express their anger – especially if this expression was denied to them or repressed at the time of the event, or habitually repressed in relation to a person or issue. In one case the Echo decided she wanted to go to a favourite ocean lookout spot at night and yell and scream and shout there. So we did all that in the Matrix/imagination, and made sure the Echo felt completely safe to really let it out (drawing on all the senses – sight, sound, smell, taste, touch – to make it feel as real as possible). Another time she chose to create a special secret room in her house where she could go to punch cushions and throw bottles against a wall.
The imagination is a powerful tool. And our job is to do whatever the Echo needs and asks for, to make it completely safe to express him or herself fully and completely. Sometimes this can happen very fast. And sometimes we need to go a bit slower.
Privacy to do this is important, but so far I’ve not had a problem working with clients over Skype if they are able to have their door closed. Actually the biggest problem is having people come into the room and interrupting because they don’t realise what intense work is going on as there isn’t any loud crying or shouting.
So if you are not able to come to work with me in person at Terrigal (on the NSW Central Coast), we can still work over Skype.
If working over Skype, it is important to convey to your family members that you will be unavailable to them for this time (allow a bit over an hour so there’s no pressure, and to give yourself time to sit and reflect after if you want). Ask them to respect this and not knock or come in.
If you’d like to try the first time with them out of the house and are able to set that up, then by all means do so.
If you are considering working with me or any coach and have these kinds of concerns, another thing you might like to do is to tap on them. (Go here if you need some instructions or a reminder on how to tap using EFT). eg ‘Even though I don’t feel private enough to have sessions with Beth while my family is in the house…. Even tho I’m afraid I’ll need to shout or cry…. Even tho I’m afraid they’ll hear me and think…’ (Be as specific as you can.)
Just tap and see what happens. Generally people find that they have the answers inside them. Once you clear the cloudy feelings, it’s amazing how solutions and ideas just pop up.
While you’re at it, you may also want to tap on any concerns about spending money on therapy or coaching, or about not having enough money for it right now. Just tap on your feelings about it in as much detail as you can. Include anything that comes up or has ever come up for you in relation to this. Be honest with yourself as you tap. Say aloud the reasons you want to do it, and the reasons you don’t think you can or should, as you tap around the meridian points. See what happens. See if something shifts around this, or a new way of looking at it, or a new idea, comes up.
I know money can be a huge issue for many of us, especially if you have a family depending on you. But it’s also important to honour yourself and your own heart’s needs.
I personally feel that working on your own issues is the best gift you can ever give to your children and your partner (and your friends). But if you tap on this for a bit, you may be able to get a clearer message from your deep self about whether or not this is an important investment for you and your family at this time. Or if there’s another better way to go about this.
There is always a part of you that knows.
If you have any questions about working over Skype or in person at Terrigal, or about Matrix Reimprinting and EFT in general, please do feel free to ask.
Or phone me in Australia on 0419 580 382 or 02 4384 4942 to have a chat.