How we enter and how we leave: some thoughts on International Midwives Day

How we enter, and how we leave. For a long time, in our culture, the ‘how’ has been considered unimportant, as long as we don’t suffer.

When my mother gave birth to her third son, the story goes that he popped out with a whoosh as soon as she got to the hospital, and before there was time to call the doctor.

Apparently her first words after this event was ‘Do I still have to have the enema?’

Possibly an apocryphal story, but such an eager entrance does fit with my brother’s energy and enthusiasm for life.

For the rest of us, it was the 1950s and my mother wasn’t even expected to be consciously present. In fact it seemed more convenient if she wasn’t, so she was given a good dosing of twightlight drugs to blank her out at that final painful stage. When she came to again, the birth was all over, and we were nice and cleaned and wrapped up and whisked away so she could sleep.

When my sister gave birth to her first daughter in the 1980s, things were different, and my mother was invited to hold her newest grandchild soon after she was born. My mother had given birth to six children, and this was the first time she’d ever held and looked into the eyes of a baby who was less than an hour old.

Do these things matter?

When I do EFT (Emotional Freedom Technique or Meridian tapping) and Matrix Reimprinting with clients and with myself, it certainly seems that it does matter. We often end up going back to the birth scene, and even before, as a place where patterns and negative beliefs first really took hold. The more sensitive the child, the more stressed the mother, the more impact these things can have.

Matrix Reimprinting is an amazingly effective method of sending yourself back, imaginatively, to re-story an event or experience, usually by tapping on the Echo of oneself in that moment (the ‘Energetic consciousness hologram’) to release painful feelings and fears; and to resource that earlier self and those around you in ways that weren’t available to them at the time.

The idea is to change the details of the memory to something positive, and thus change the feelings and lessons (the beliefs) associated with that memory that are held in our unconscious minds and in our bodies (including our neurological bodies). This way we can change the way we respond to events and opportunities and challenges in the present.

For instance, if your experiences lead you to believe deep in your being that the world is safe, friendly and nurturing and that your needs and feelings, and those of your carers, are important and respected, you will probably respond differently to life than if your formative experiences have led you to feel unsafe, uncared for, alone, and not even sure if you want to be here.

When I do EFT and Matrix Reimprinting with clients, if it goes back to birth issues they often want to bring in some great midwives to support their mother. It makes a huge difference to the imprint and thus impact of that deep memory.

And I’ve heard from those who work in this area that babies in the womb seem to love having EFT performed on their mothers. The bond in the womb is deep, and the womb is, after all, their world at this time.

So, happy International Midwives Day, and please take a moment to send a cyber-kiss to your midwife, if you had one, and to all those who supported your Mum at your birth.

If you are interested in EFT coaching and Matrix Reimprinting, there are lots of great coaches who can work with you via Skype or by phone, or in person if you live nearby. If you’re interested in having a chat with me about this kind of coaching, give me a call or send a message.

If you’re particularly interested in Matrix Reimprinting as it relates to the birth experience, check out UK trainer and practitioner Sharon King’s website at

And for great links on all things to do with birth, science, neurology, health and the medical system, follow Carolyn Hastie at @thinkbirth on twitter, or visit her website at


*the image of the baby’s hand is by Jonathan Fitch, courtesy of

*the image of the baby held by forceps is from the 1993 film, Midwives… Lullabies… and Mother Earth, available at

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4 thoughts on “How we enter and how we leave: some thoughts on International Midwives Day”

  1. I am holding on to this verse from mward.
    Birth is just a chorus, death is just a verse
    In the great song of spring that the mockingbirds sing
    We come and we go, a-weeping and a-wailing
    Our heads in the hands of the nurse

    Cheers to the midwives!

  2. A lovely post and heartfelt reminiscence Beth. Would love to know what went through your mother’s mind as she held that newborn grandchild! You are so right that those early experiences are foundational and influence us forever. EFT and matrix reimprinting are very useful and important ways to address and change any unhelpful formative engrams.

    1. Thanks for your comments, Caroline. Always appreciated. It must be great to know the huge difference you are making in people’s lives by supporting their mothers so fully when they are giving birth.

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